Bond for glory

I looked up at the the TV screen last night and saw what appeared to be bad comedians in yellow G-suits slap-sticking their way through a fake spaceship. Jetsons remake?

Then I recognized a face. It was Bond. James Bond.

It was the ending to "Moonraker'', a movie I've somehow missed for three decades since its original release in 1979. I've never waited in line to watch a Bond premiere (prefering the escape offered by Ian Fleming's paperbacks), but I do enjoy catching at least moments of these flicks on the backside.

And it just so happened that a lovely blonde was on HER backside (Dr. Holly Goodhead, I would soon learn), in full-body embrace with our hero as they floated weightlessly through the space cabin.

As the video of their tryst flashed on the screen at Command Central, this dialog followed:

"It's 007!''
"My god, what's Bond doing?''
"I think he's attempting re-entry, sir!''

Wondering if I had just caught the best scene of the entire movie, I consulted Leonard Maltin's movie guide for his take. Lenny was not at all impressed with "Moonraker'', giving it two stars and this pan:

"James Bond no longer resembles Ian Fleming's creation; now he's a tired punster pursuing an intergalactic madman. Overblown comic-strip adventure is strictly for the bubble-gum set...''

Maltin might have at least mentioned that Shirley Bassey was back to sing the Bond theme song (following 'Goldfinger' and 'Diamonds Are Forever'). Hearing her voice again, as the credits rolled, gave me my money's worth. (Free!) And don't you think that Hal David's lyrics, with a different melody and arrangement, could've been a killer song for somebody?

Where are you? When will we meet?
Take my unfinished life and make it complete
Just like the moonraker knows
His dream will come true someday
I know that you are only a kiss away

I've seen your smile in a thousand dreams
Felt your touch and it always seems
You love me
You love me

I'm thinking: Tanya Tucker's comeback?