The envelope, please

Tonight American Idol viewers were treated to a performance by Lady Gaga, whom host Ryan Seacrest described as an artist who is "pushing the pop culture envelope."  That dude gets to read all the clever lines!

We decided to duck in because we had missed the previous two competition nights and wanted to see how the Sanctuary's early predictions were panning out.  (Also, the Brewers are on the West Coast so we wouldn't need to miss any of the game.)  Back on March 24 this was the SSS Top 5:

1. Crystal Bowersox; 2. Big Mike Lynche; 3. Casey James; 4. Katie Stevens; 5. Lee Dewyze

Cross off Katie, who was eliminated a few weeks ago, and you have the Idol Top 4 now that Aaron Kelly (our No. 6) has finally, mercifully, been sent home. So we had four of the Top 5 five weeks ago. This is no Idol boast; we admitted the pickings were easy and it would be just a matter of time before Crystal and Big Mike duked it out for the title.  Casey will be the next to fall, and then it will become interesting to see if sneaky Lee Dewyze can mess it up for the contenders.

If viewers can just make it through next week's Songs of the Cinema, which sounds very much like another dreadful night of karaoke.

Nothin' but hound dogs

It isn't getting any easier on American Idol, and we're not talking about the contestants. No, it's the audience that is having a tough time.  We have seen falling down drunks do a better job with Elvis Presley songs than our heroes did last night. Get this season over with.

It's time to re-evaluate the field, which shrinks by two tonight after another round of voting.  Andrew Garcia is almost certainly gone after butchering "Hound Dog."  Who will join him?  It's probably going to be a close call between Aaron Kelly and Tim Urban, who've been hanging on by the laces of their sneakers.

Here's how SSS handicaps the group (previous rankings from three weeks ago in parentheses):

FAVORITE (STILL)
1. (1) Crystal Bowersox, simply no one in her league

NOT GOING AWAY SOON
2. (5) Lee Dewyze, he's the good wine and now he's uncorked
3. (3) Casey James, doesn't seem to have the killer instinct

FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES
4. (4) Katie Stevens, still annoying Simon but then who doesn't
5. (2) Big Mike Lynche, some quiet redemption with "In the Ghetto"

GOING, GOING...
6. (7) Siobhan Magnus, we were suspicious long before "Suspicious Minds"
7. (10) Tim Urban, baffling how judges liked "Can't Help Falling in Love"

...GONE
8. (6) Aaron Kelly, tramples the classic "Blue Suede Shoes"
9. (9) Andrew Garcia, Randy calls performance "not good karaoke"

Idol's easy pickings

This American Idol competition is utter nonsense, but it's such an easy blog we can't resist. Ducks on the pond.

We have to say it's refreshing to see the judges rediscover brutal honesty as a feedback tool. Last night we heard comments like "terrible" and "corny" and "pointless" and "silly" and they were all pretty much tack on. At one point Ellen Degeneres, who is just plain nicer and more tactful than her judging comrades, told Paige Miles to look at the bright side: "You didn't fall down." Unfortunately Paige DID fall down; she'll be gone when the group is whittled to 10 Wednesday night unless Tim Urban beats her to the exit.

Here's how SSS handicaps the talent (or lack thereof -- this is a very ordinary group) after the latest round:

FAVORITES (STILL)
1. Crystal Bowersox, reaffirms top ranking by nailing "Me and Bobby McGee"
2. Big Mike Lynche, slides a bit with uninspired "When a Man Loves a Woman"

CONTENDERS
3. Casey James, if his voice matched his guitar playing he'd be a threat
4. Katie Stevens, would win if it were a beauty pageant (so she still could)
5. Lee Dewyze, nudges into sleeper role with "The Letter" (see Alex Chilton blog)

THEY WISH
6. Aaron Kelly, pet squirrels and cute kids are hard to get rid of
7. Siobhan Magnus, should save that scream for Space Mountain
8. Didi Benami, must be a reason she chose "You're No Good"

WOULDN'T LAST 15 SECONDS ON GONG SHOW
9. Andrew Garcia, letting him go after "I Heard It Through the Grapevine"
10. Tim Urban, should've been given the gate by now
11. Paige Miles, we wish her the best

Who wants to be on that stupid tour anyway? Lacey Brown, who was knocked out of the competition last week, appeared on Letterman Monday night while this group was receiving pointers from Miley Cyrus. It ain't the end of the world; it is what it is: to date Idol contestants have generated 261 Billboard No. 1 songs.

Crystal clear persuasion

The fix is in.

You don't need to be a talent scout or an American Idol devotee to know what's going on here. What you have at this juncture of the season is a Janis Joplin, in the persona and voice of the immensely talented Crystal Bowersox, and 11 pretenders. (That's Bowersox on the left and Pearl on the right.)

Yet last night the judges lavished praise on mediocre performance after mediocre performance, saving some of their best criticism for Bowersox's finale. Her cover of "You Can't Always Get What You Want" was clearly the best effort of the evening. But getting too far in front of the pack is apparently not good business for Idol.

Hey, it's just fun and games. We know that. Well, except for lives and careers that hang in the balance. The judges don't know any more than the rest of us, and their comments -- however skewed -- probably have nothing to do with the outcome. The lion's share of the votes cast are texted with lightning speed by teens and preteens, god bless 'em. They're probably more honest with their feelings than the judges.

But we're guessing that cute faces and sexy appearances also figure into their decison making process, and that's where Crystal Bowersox could eventualy run into trouble. She's cute, but not boy cute like several of the male contestants. And she's not a pixie or a knockout like Siobhan Magnus, whom judges decided to give the edge last night for her stab at "Paint It Black."

The Sanctuary, a casual bystander here, still likes Bowersox and, among the guys, St. Pete's Big Mike Lynche. But there are too many pretty faces remaining, and the judges for their part are getting just plain dopey.

Interestingly, an early readers poll last night at naplesnews.com -- home paper/website for Florida contestant Paige Miles -- had Bowersox first, Miles second and Big Mike third. But chillions of votes will be cast before this is decided.

Sanctuary goes Idol

We won't call it nonsense because so many people still watch American Idol. We tuned in the last two nights because:

1) my TV isn't picking up the conference basketball tournaments
2) curious about the dynamics with Ellen Degeneres as a judge
3) a responsibility to review musical talent on horizon
4) couldn't find reruns of Ted Mack Amateur Hour
5) scraping bottom for quick blog

OK, so here's what we learned, in two thoughtful minutes: We can officially declare Ray Lamontagne mainstream now that an Idol contestant has performed "Trouble." ... Simon is being very nice, maybe too nice, in his final season. ... Ellen fits in nicely, but was that really the reason to replace Paula Abdul with her? She actually went on stage and hugged a contestant last night!!! Where's our drunken sailor or wise cracker to keep things loose? (We suppose Betty White is too old for this audience, but she would have been our pick.) ... They whittle it down to the final 12 tonight, but we can do way better than that after seeing each singer just once.

Your finalists will be: Crystal Bowersox and Michael Lynche. Now don't forget to tell everyone you read it here first...