Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Now Don't Be Fornicating Everywhere

I need your help today because you are some of the most clever and intelligent people I know. That's not exactly why I need you, but if that will help guarantee your participation then I'm all for it. The reason will be revealed soon enough.

I went to the motor vehicle department yesterday to renew my driver registration and it went all right. Which was a big surprise because the first Monday of the month after a holiday is probably one of the worst days of the year to be walking through that door.

But the 30-minute wait didn't seem that long. It allowed me time to flame out on a Brickbreaker game I had paused overnight on my Blackberry, and to work the crossword, kakuro and sodoku puzzles in the paper. And of course I scanned the classifieds for job ads, but once again there were none.

It turned out my license plate was up for replacement. I could stick with my plate supporting the state's endangered reef program -- a noble cause indeed -- or make a new statement. I opted for a new statement, which is: throw loyalty and support for my son and his new adventure as a seaman recruit in the U.S. Navy.

The thing about specialty plates is they tend to have fewer letters and numbers in them, making them easier to remember. But not easy enough. I mean, who among you could actually recite your license plate number? If you're like me, you check into a motel and on the form where they ask you to fill in your plate number you just make something up, because you're not going to walk back outside into the parking lot and copy that number off your actual plate. You just aren't going to.

Unless you order a vanity plate with a specific message (6STRING), you probably have no more than a vague idea what your plate reads. Which is why it can be helpful to have an acronym, or initialism, to jog your memory. Which is why I could use your help today. Ready?

My new U.S. Navy license plate reads: NDB4E.

And as simple as that seems, I'm never going to remember it unless I can make it mean something.

If this were a sports blog it might be hard to resist Notre Dame Bites 4 Eternity. But it's not, and that's not very nice anyway. Or how about Nobody Defends Brett 4 Ever, which could be taken two very different ways.

Hey, I'm just throwing it out there. Another silly blog, you're saying. We need to get Strumbum a job, you're thinking. Well, yes. Of course. But first will you help me out with this?


  1. No Depression Because For Eh?

  2. No Double Baconburgers 4 Elvis?

  3. Navy Dad's Boy 4 Ever

  4. I like the Navy Dad's Boy 4 Ever