I've mentioned, erroneously it turns out, that my son Zach plays in the band Crimson Red Guitar. Turns out it is Crimson Red Radio. Now that I've got that straightened out they can go on to stardom. Or change it to Lutefisk Puke, as one commenter suggested.
I have a few buddies and former colleagues who are also in bands. Tom plays drums in the Alternators Blues Band, Chuck fronts the Bourbon Dynasty, and my old pal George was a guitarist in the Quarrymen. I'm kidding!
The Beatles, of course, started out as the Quarrymen (and I'm not convinced the change was much of an improvement. Creedence Clearwater Revival, on the other hand, was a definite upgrade from the Golliwogs).
I'm back wondering if a name can make or break a band, for no other reason than I'm staring at my 2008 Bradenton Battle of the Bands T-shirt (proudly sponsored by Bradenton.com). And I've come to the conclusion that most of the bands, no matter how good they are now or might become, will be battling even longer than ordinary odds unless they change their monikers. I give you, alphabetically:
AMI Dub Squad
Dakota Rose Band
Fighting for Shotgun
The Frayed Knot Band
The Human Condition
The Martin-Westrick Combo
My Brother's Scars
The Once & Future Kings
Rode Hard Band
Seth White Worship
Seven Years Past
OK, maybe there a couple of keepers. But I'd like to think I could come out of the bathroom in the morning with a dozen names that would put all of those to shame. I was even thinking this might turn into a lucrative business, but I just checked and the domain namethatband.com has already been taken.
It is not easy being an out-of-work newspaper headline writer.