Some people say the world ain't what it isAll I know is I just got to take a whiz
Was it because of lyrics like those from "Piss on the Wall," or in spite of them, that the J. Geils Band rose to prominence?
They were a tough band to figure out. They were named for a guitarist who didn't sing or write and wasn't accomplished at his instrument. The band's beat was driven by a "lead" harmonica player, Magic Dick -- a memorable moniker for any verile rocker. The vocalist, Peter Wolf, was an artist who married Faye Dunaway and certainly didn't lack a stage presence. But when Wolf left in 1983 after creative differences with Seth Justman, the band's keyboardist and songwriter, J. Geils was pretty much gone without him.
They were not easy to put in a genre, being a mixture of blues, rock, R&B and soul with funkadelic grooves running through everything. Rollingstone.com's bio refers to them as "the finest Jewish blues-rockers ever to do the Boston Monkey." Whatever.
At this time in 1982 they had the No. 1 song in the country, "Centerfold," featuring a lead riff that will either make you tap a foot or run to the medicine cabinet for aspirin, and possibly both.
Early J. Geils, we're talking a decader earlier, generated some sonically pleasing blues-driven ramps that gave the band its footing. They would enjoy several commercially successful singles like "Give It to Me" and "Must Have Got Lost," and they always produced albums with cool cover artwork that any self-respecting pothead would want to collect.
But it's still a bit surprising to think that "Centerfold" could reside for six weeks atop the Billboard chart. Did the song really have the right mojo and staying power, or were times that lean on the music front in early '82? Probably a little of both. Here was your top five 28 years ago today:
1. Centerfold, J. Geils Band
2. I Can't Go for That (No Can Do), Hall & Oates
3. Waiting for a Girl Like You, Foreigner
4. Harden My Heart, Quarterflash
5. Turn Your Love Around, George Benson
We make too much of these song rankings, but there seems to be some residual value in sifting through the musical remains of the day. And Billboard, for all its faults, at least provides a measuring tool. It's worth noting the song that replaced "Centerfield" at No. 1, Joan Jett's "I Love Rock 'n Roll" stayed there even longer -- seven weeks. And the chart-topper that ushered in '82 ahead of "Centerfold" was there for 10 weeks: Olivia Newton-John's "Physical."
What does it all mean? What does it MEAN!!! I don't know, but I got to take a whiz...
The first two JGBand records (eponymous and "The Morning After")were great. They had some nice original tunes, some great covers by R&B pros like Don Covay and Smokey Robinson, and they even did a Gram Parsons song, "Cry One More Time".
ReplyDeleteIf you listened to those two records I'll bet you would take back your statement that J. Geils wasn't an accomplished guitarist. He was not a showoff like the moronica player, but he played exactly the right parts, executed perfectly.
After that they went downhill fast. "Centerfold" was an embarrassment to their longtime fans.
The JGBand also must hold the record for the absolute strangest lyrics off all time. Anyone else remember "No Anchovies, Please"?
ReplyDelete"This is the story of a young couple in Portland, Maine.
While waiting for her husband Don to return home from work, she reaches for a can of anchovies.
As she spreads the tiny fish across a piece of lettuce, she notices a small note at the bottom of the can.
Written on it is a telephone number.
Curious, she dials, and is told, "Don't move, lady, we'll be right over."
Placing the phone back on the hook, she turns to see three smartly dressed men standing in her kitchen doorway.
Before she realizes what is happening to her, she is rolled tightly in long sheets of cellophane, transported to an international airport, and placed on a waiting jet-liner.
All this being too much for her to comprehend, she passes out.
Upon awakening, she finds herself in a strange, foreign speaking nation ("Dalas nekcihc dna tihs nekcihc neewteb ecnereffid eht wonk ot suineg a ekat t'nseod ti.").
Alone, fearing her escape impossible, she seeks comfort in the arms of a confidential agent. With the trace of her kiss still warm upon his lips, he betrays her to the hands of three scientists who are engaged in diabolical, avant-garde experiments previously performed only on
insects and other small, meaningless creatures.
Using her as their subject, they are delighted with the results. For the first time, a human being is transformed into a ("shhh... it's secret").
Meanwhile, back in Portland, Maine...
Her husband Don, now chain-smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day, sits at a local bar and has a few beers with the regulars.
Bored, everyone's attention turns to the television set that just hangs from the wall.
("Welcome to Bowling for Dollars").
Suddenly, crazy Al says, "S-say, Don, there sure is something familiar about that bowling ball."
To which a terrified Don replies, "Oh my God! That bowling ball! It's my wife!"
And the lesson we learn from this story is, next time you place your order, don't forget to say,
"No anchovies please."