Makes me sing like a guitar hummin'

One thing that always bothered me about "The Last Waltz,'' the greatest rock concert ever filmed. Well it didn't really bother me as much as it just didn't make sense. And that was: What was Neil Diamond doing there?

Ronnie Hawkins made perfect sense. So did Bob Dylan. Both had deep connections to The Band. Nor could you argue with Paul Butterfield, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Dr. John or the Staples -- and all provided memorable guest performances. Especially the Staples doing "The Weight'' with the boys.

But Neil Diamond? The word is that Robbie Robertson wanted him, and that was that. That Diamond chose to sing "Dry Your Eyes'' -- what was that? -- only made things worse. He doomed himself with his introduction: "I'm only gonna do one song, but I'm gonna do it good." Dude, get off it!

The funny thing is, I came here today to praise Diamond. I just needed to get that off my chest.

The absolute truth: Diamond was a pretty good songwriter. And you couldn't really pick on his voice. It was his delivery that bothered people. Well, apparently that never bothered the women.

(I'm not writing him in past tense because he's dead. But he has pretty much gone away, hasn't he? Tell me he has.)

Diamond scored his first No. 1 song, "Cracklin' Rosie'', on this day in 1970. And despite the ridiculously corny lead-in music, it was not a bad song. I get a little squeamish around overtly pop-ified songs, but the lyrics to "Rosie'' are anything but that. It's a song about a guy who doesn't get a girl so he settles for a cheap bottle of wine.

Oh, I love my Rosie child
You got the way to make me happy
You and me, we go in style
Cracklin Rose, you're a store bought woman
You make me sing like a guitar hummin'
So hang on to me, girl
Our song keeps runnin on

Play it now
Play it now, my baby

Now who among you hasn't been alone with a dreadful bottle of wine? Hell, I'm alone with one right now! (Couldn't you tell?)

Anyway, I'm here to tell you that my buddy Neil was one helluva songwriter. "Kentucky Woman'' rocks! "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show'' is way underrated! Where would the Monkees have been without Neil's "I'm a Believer''? On the last train to Clarksville, that's where!

Nevertheless, he had no business taking the stage at the Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco that night. No damn business at all. What were they thinking?